I recently had an experience where I was disappointed and my feelings were hurt. I haven’t felt this way in quite a long time. And honestly, I haven’t felt this way because I’ve been keeping myself safe: safe by holding back in personal interactions, safe by not allowing myself to really feel my feelings, and safe by putting myself in circumstances where I control the outcome.
What’s the benefit and cost of keeping yourself “safe?” Maybe the benefit is, we all get to avoid those less than comfortable and sometimes awkward tinges of disappointment, fear, anxiousness, and loneliness. On the flipside, we have to ask, “What’s the cost?” I’d say the cost is a “flat” life. There are many sayings about living a full life and enjoying the peaks and valleys.
So what can you do when you find yourself in a valley? In this particular situation, I was able to shift my perspective and see things from a much less daunting place. I was out riding my bike to Lake Sonoma. As the lake came into view, I remembered my dear friend Mike Wolford. Mike was a park ranger at Lake Sonoma. He loved that job. Mike passed away from pancreatic cancer way too young.
Up until this point I was feeling like my disappointment was the biggest and worst thing that could possibly happen to me. Well, in reality it wasn’t and still isn’t. Although I’m still disappointed, I realize now my disappointment was a simple nuisance.
What are you willing to do the next time you find yourself in a valley? Or perhaps, you realize you never even let yourself go into the valley and you have that “flat” life? I’m committing to looking for new perspectives when things aren’t going my way. And the hardest thing of all, I’m committing to giving all I can in my interactions with my friends and family.
If you would like to talk more about your own “full life” or lack thereof, give me a call. I am a believer that coaching can move you to new peaks and help you feel and appreciate the valleys.