Is it changing so subtly you don’t notice? This question came up as I was getting a massage. I wondered out loud, “Is this non-bending arm my new normal?” It’s made me reflect on how easy it is to let life’s circumstances lead us to a new normal. I have since asked myself, “Is a new normal sneaking up on me?”
I have to admit, my broken arm gave me license to take it easy. And yes, that was appropriate for the first couple of months of my recovery. After the 4th month of taking it easy, I started to realize I was creating a new normal I wasn’t ready to accept. In February, I decided to get back to what I think is a better normal: one that includes morning strength training, riding my bike regularly, and getting back to building my coaching business.
What I’m learning? It takes willpower to create my better normal. It seems a lot easier to sit with a cup of coffee and surf the internet than it is to download a workout video and sweat. Admittedly, I became pretty comfortable just hanging out when my arm was in a sling.
After my workout, I feel so much better and I’m happy I did it. So why, I ask, does it take so much effort to simply get started? The answer to this question is probably different for each one of us. It could be the fear if we try really hard and don’t succeed, we’ll feel like failures. Or maybe it’s the fear of looking silly to your family and friends. Or maybe it’s the fear of getting in shape or being successful in your career and the associated challenges. Or you were up all night making cupcakes for an event that you couldn’t say no too because you are the “nice” girl and really needed that extra 45 minutes of sleep?
Our inner critic/voice is superb at giving us reasons to stymie positive change and to keep us mired in negative circumstances. The inner critic, driven by our survival brain, does not like change. Change is dangerous and puts you into un-chartered territory.
How about you? What’s that inner critic/voice saying to you and what’s the new normal sneaking up on you? Perhaps it’s as simple as eating that extra cookie and your new normal is a few extra pounds. Or it’s saying yes to everybody around you and getting less sleep every night. Little by little your normal becomes exhaustion and resentment.
Each of us makes choices every day and these choices ultimately drive us to our “normals.” Are you aware of your choices and where they are driving you? What’s the inner critic/voice “making” you do? Start noticing what you are saying to yourself and how it drives your choices and ultimately, your new normal. I wonder if you will be surprised.
I have some very good tools to notice and identify your inner critic/voice. Connect with me and I’ll send you some ideas. Become aware and make choices that are in alignment with your self-care and your self-worth. You are worthy of the very best the world has to offer.